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Place: The fictional country of Santa Maria, which shares a Caribbean island with another state, Ucqua.
Act 1
Juan owns a cow, whose milk generates enough money to enable him to marry his sweetheart, Juanita, who has no dowry. Meanwhile, the peace-loving President Mendez and his advisor Ximenes are approached by Jones, an American arms dealer, who fabricates reports that Ucqua is re-arming and persuades them to buy weapons from him.
As Santa Maria is short of money, Mendez and Ximenez introduce a new tax to pay for the weapons. Juan cannot pay, his cow is impounded and the wedding with Juanita is called off. Juan works as a stevedore to earn enough money to get the cow back, but a second attempt at a wedding is again foiled by the impounding of the cow. This is because a second tax has had to be imposed at the behest of the war-mongering General Conchas, who plans manoeuvres on the border with Ucqua. Juan is called up into the army, and, to earn money for a replacement cow, Juanita goes into the city to work as a prostitute at Madame Odette's establishment. Jones and Ximenes conspire to replace Mendez as President by Conchas, who organises a putsch and takes power.
Act 2
Conchas visits Madame Odette's to celebrate his takeover and is captivated by Juanita. Next day, despite a hangover, he takes part in a military parade organised by Ximenes. Juan, who has no desire to be a soldier, punches the General and is sentenced to death. Luckily, the guns that Jones has sold to Santa Maria fail to go off, whereupon it turns out that the guns that he has also sold to Ucqua are also defective. President Conchas opts for peaceful coexistence with Ucqua and pardons Juan, who can now reclaim his cow with the help of his army pay and Juanita's earnings, and at last the couple can get marr.
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